The Name's Bond. James Bond.

Bond 22, "Quantam of Solace," came out last Friday. Of course, I had to see it. I read several reviews beforehand, and none of them gave spectacular marks. That probably affected how I viewed the movie.

A number of behind-the-scenes crew from Quantam had close ties to the Bourne franchise, and it shows in the Bond filmography. One feature of the Bourne movies is action, particularly car chases. However, I dislike how the scenes are put together. In order to present frenzy and chaos, the camera angle changes constantly. It is disorientating and hard on the eyes. Maybe my memory suffers selective recollection, but I seem to remember some of the best Bond chase scenes maintaining a view long enough for the viewer to gather his or her bearings.

"Quantam of Solace" is the first sequel in the Bond franchise. It begins soon after the end of "Casino Royale." Because I read reviews, I did not watch Bond 21 again in preparation. However, I wonder how well I would have followed the storyline if I had not read the reviews. The plot is minimal to focus on action.

With Bond, the plot should be predictable: M gives Bond a mission. Q gives Bond the latest gadgets. Bond finds and seduces a girl. Bond drinks his martini shaken, not stirred. Bond is captured but escapes after the bad guy shares his plan. Bond then thwarts the plan and escapes with the girl.

Sadly, that's not what happens here. M tries to give Bond a rest from his mission, and she loses trust in Agent 007 when he seems to be motivated by revenge for the death of his lover in "Casino Royale." Q doesn't appear, and there are no new gadgets. Bond does not spend much time in the bedroom with women. Bond compensates for insomnia by drinking martinis, but it is the bartender who describes the drink. Bond kills several people along the way, but he leaves his main foe alone in the desert to die off screen. Similar to superhero movies of the summer (Batman, Iron Man, etc), Bond faced dark emotions. I'd rather have classic Bond.

I still think Daniel Craig is adequate for the role as Agent 007, but he is at the mercy of those who write the screenplay. Craig never utters the familiar phrase, "Bond. James Bond." The dialogue lacks double entrendres that classic Bond films are known for. His best lines come is exchanges with M. One such example:

M: Did you learn anything from Slate?
James Bond: Slate was a dead end.
M: [exasperated] You killed him didn't you?

"Quantam of Solace" is the shortest Bond movie at 106 minutes. Even through they had crews in Chile, Panama, Mexico, Austria, Italy, Spain, and England, the credits concluded quickly. In the final part of the credits, the following words appear: "James Bond Will Return."

One critic proposed that this movie is the middle of a trilogy. Perhaps he got the idea from those closing words I quoted above. If there is another movie planned on the current story, the screenwriters have a chance to redeem themselves by reverting to the classic formulaic Bond that we all know and love. Even if they had not included their promise in the credit, I would have no doubt about Bond's return to the silver screen. And I plan to see it at the theater.

Richard Simmons for Yoplait Yogurt

Two women are walking through the supermarket.
"I mean, I did lose some weight. I get really hungry in the afternoon. And that is when I crave Strawberry Shortcake."

"Mmm...I want some right now."

"No, no, no. Key Lime Pie."

"Boston Cream Pie!"

Richard Simmons appears and exclaims, "Boston Cream Pie?!? Ladies, please don't!" with his hands in the air. Simmons is wearing his typical short shorts and tank top.

One lady reaches for a container of yogurt, but Simmons continues, "No, no. Listen. You need to exercise! You need to know your worth! Farewell to fat! Yes!" He goes into several stretches toward the ceiling.

The women attempt to interrupt him, "Richard...," and show him the yogurt, but he won't listen.

Voiceover: "Yoplait Light. With 28 flavors at only 100 calories, it only sounds fattening."

As the ladies check out with a dozen yogurt container facing the camera on the checkout belt, Simmon waves from the distance and says, "Keep it up, girls. Believe in you. I believe in you."

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The last line is the kicker. Say it out loud: "Believe in you. I believe in you." To me, it sounds like Simmons messed up his line, but rather than record another take, they left it in the commercial.

I wonder how much Richard Simmons was paid to make the appearance in advertisement.